None of us get to pick and choose the family we are born into. Some people seem to win the lottery, while others may well be born directly into hell. The thing is, you have no say over that situation.
Sadly, for the start of your life, you really get very little say so in that either. If you have shit members of your family that abuse, take advantage of or cause you other forms of harm, for most people – it’s just a matter of holding on until you can escape it and hope like hell you aren’t completely destroyed by it.
But here’s the thing…
There comes a time in life when you become the grown up, and you get to set your own boundaries. You get to actively choose who can maintain space and relationship in your world.
“Blood is thicker than water” is a phrase that often gets thrown around, and is applied in many instances to hold people close to family. And if you have a good family, that’s a great blessing for you.
But if you have family that you’d prefer to not be associated with – you get to make that decision!
But what about the guilt of it? I know, for many, that can be a huge thing.
Fuck that. If you live your life and make choices based on guilt, you will always be held back by others. You can find yourself continually stuck in relationships that are absolutely terrible for you just to avoid the feeling of guilt.
You didn’t choose the family you were born into, and if they treat you like garbage, then they are the ones having lost that freedom to remain in your life. Why should you hold the guilt when they are the ones that should feel guilty?
The moment you learn to hold your ground and set those boundaries for who holds space in your life – the happier you will find that space to be. Even family… and who knows, by setting those boundaries and holding them, perhaps they will begin to evaluate and change. But even if they do not, you get to choose who is present…
Choose wisely, and without guilt.
You have one life to live. Live it to it’s fullest.
You are worth it. Ensure those around you are too.
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