I have taken the last several days to step back and just listen, think and process. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I have had to go through on my own – including debating whether to even write anything at all.
One phrase just keeps coming back to me… “skin in the game.” And how apparently how one day I have all the skin in the game, and then the next none at all.
Before I begin, you should know that I am writing this as a “middle aged cis-white man.” Now, for some people out there, this is somehow now an automatic disqualifier for having anything to say at all. If that is you, I will urge you to stop reading right here. But, if indeed you have a mind open enough to hear the thoughts of another human being, continue on.
When the results of this election were clear, I was angry, sad, worried and concerned. I still am… and not just because of what Trump may want to do… but because of how so many people are reacting after the fact.
While I have been an independent voter for several years now, I have overwhelmingly voted Democratic in elections for some time… including this year. This is because having come into this lifestyle, I have been exposed to a wider variety of other human beings from all walks of life and have seen first hand how not scary these people are. I have seen the beauty of so many marginalized groups, and I have fallen in love with the truest concepts of inclusivity – even as we in this lifestyle seemingly want to continue to become less inclusive.
The reason “skin in the game” is sticking with me is because just before the election happened, those on the “left” side of politics went out of their way to remind men (in general) just how much skin in the game they had and why they just had to vote “against” Trump. In many ways, it was quite a talking down to – as if men just didn’t care about their daughters, sisters, mothers and other females in their lives. The day after the election, when those on the “left” of politics didn’t get the outcome they wanted, suddenly the fact that I am a “middle aged white cis-man” meant that I didn’t have any skin in the game at all. My “privilege” as said “cis-man” meant that my thoughts, my fears, my concerns – all of that was now worthless, and utterly unwelcome. I absolutely reject that notion.
I am not by any means dismissing the concept of “privilege.” I recognize and accept the reality that I do not have obstacles placed in my way as a result of my gender or race. I do reject the concept that anything is handed to me, as that I have not experienced at all. What “privilege” I do have, I try my best to utilize to help others overcome the obstacles placed in their way, and to be their ally for their own rights and dreams.
I still have plenty of people I care about in a variety of marginalized areas that are at a higher risk of further marginalization, including a young daughter… I still very much have skin in the game. Beyond that, many of the economic policies that Trump wants to put in place will likely have a very direct impact on me as the provider for my family, putting our ability to even live day to day at risk. Point being, we all have skin in the game.
My “privilege” will not shield me from the possible economic hit that we all will take on. It will not shield my family from the agenda of a much more rightward attack on liberties and freedoms. It will not shield my friends from the harm that may well come. It will not shield me from the fact that I live in an alternative lifestyle that doesn’t fit the hetero normative vanilla world.
So despite some people feeling like I should not have a voice in anything at all… I do. I have fucking skin in the game… and I will not surrender that to anyone else for any reason.
I am closing comments on this from the very start because I really do not have the desire or energy to deal with the politically motivated comments that will likely come from this post. If you feel like you need to express your thoughts on this, you are welcome to send me a message – if you can have an actual conversation. Personal attacks from either “side” of a political leaning will simply be ignored.
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