As humans, we are the byproduct of so many experiences and lessons taught to us over the years. Some lessons have been passed down from generation to generation (good or bad), while some have come from our own personal experiences and how we viewed things at the time.
The challenge is that last part – how we viewed it at the time.
Let me give you an example…
Let’s say that as a freshman in high school, you struggled with the idea of dating. No one in your entire world seemed to be receptive to your approach, and you just could not find anyone to even think about being your boyfriend / girlfriend. From this, the lessons you learned were that you weren’t good enough, not attractive enough and unworthy of a relationship. This has carried over into your adult life, with more and more situations seeming to confirm these lessons.
Here’s the problem with that though… You were a young teenager, with an extremely limited world view and a microscopic dating pool. Seriously, think about this a moment…
How many kids were in your high school to start with? 300, 400, maybe even as much as 1000 kids? Let’s just go with the national average – 850. Let’s assume, for simplicity sake, that only half of them were of the sexual orientation and identity that you would have found attractive… 425. Now, let’s divide that evenly between 4 class years – that’s roughly 100 people, in your own age group and local demographics. Of those 100 potential mates, each and every one of them had the emotional and mental stability and mindset of a teenager. Every single one of them! Very few of them knew what they wanted, or who they even were. And I would venture to say that maybe only 10% of them had the sort of self confidence that allowed them to date and date well. So… what… maybe 10 of them? Were you one of them?
Fast forward and here you are as an adult, still carrying around these lessons learned as a teen. Why? Can you step back now as an adult and see things a bit differently now? Perhaps you know a bit more about what you want, and who you are. Maybe, just maybe… you’ve got a much large dating pool to choose from! Instead of being limited to a small handful of people who just happened to live down the street from you… you now have a variety of people that you might connect with… and at a variety of ages even!
Imagine this… you’re 40. You’re now out of high school a little over 20 years. What if you meet someone who is 7 years younger or older. As a freshman, they would have been in elementary school! And no way, as a freshman you would have gone to start dating a 7 year old!
The point is this… life has changed, and you’ve grown. You’re no longer that teenager you once were. It’s time to set aside those “lessons” you learned when you were a child, and begin to relearn those lessons as a mature adult. Stop replaying those ideas and placing those limits on you that you held as a kid… it’s your time now! Go, and freaking live it!
Unlearn some of those lessons you once learned. See those experiences through a more experienced set of eyes. Think through the challenges you saw as a kid, but do so with the adult mind… not the one of a child. Suddenly, life and even the past – it all looks a bit differently.
Now you’re ready to grow. Now you’re ready to step into that place in life that’s been waiting for you! Now… it’s your time…. the here, and the now.
It’s time to unlearn the child’s lessons and start doing the grown up work. You can do this!
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