Could ≠ Should

Not that long ago, the air flow diverter in my car was acting up. It would no longer adjust with the climate control in the car, so it got stuck in one place – cold. Now, this would have been fine if it was summer – but this was getting into the coldest parts of winter, and I was in my car for several hours a day… Not a good thing!

So, I did what most of us do these days… I turned to YouTube.

Wouldn’t you know, there were videos on what was happening, and how to fix it! So, one slightly warmer 35 F day, I got my tools, brought my phone with me and set out to fix my shit!

Everything was going to plan until I found I couldn’t quite twist myself the way I needed to get that one screw out. There was this long solid bar just below the steering wheel column that was in the way…

If I could just move it for a moment, I’d get this done.
Oh shit! That’s the freaking knee airbag!

Nope! I am not messing around with airbags… not gonna happen. I don’t have the knowledge, experience (and likely the tools) to do that safely.

So… I put everything back together and scheduled an appointment with the service department.

Now… could I have done it? Probably. It would have taken a lot more time, and a lot more education… and a higher level of risk. But I really didn’t have the time for either the job or the education, and the risk involved just didn’t make sense. No matter how much I wanted it to be the case, YouTube was not going to make me the mechanic I needed to be.

Hell, the videos on YouTube left out the part about the damn airbag to start with – what else were they leaving out?

Ok Red… cool story. What’s the point here?

Glad you asked, actually. You see, there’s a lot we can do on our own. Given the right amount of time, energy, education and acceptance of risk – there’s not a lot we can’t figure out.

But could doesn’t mean we should.

Yes, I could have done it. It might have taken me a few weeks to do the research, and a few days to get the work done… but I could have done it all on my own. In the meantime, I would have continued to deal with very cold air when the outside temps never really go much above 20 F for about 2 weeks. There would have been a real cost for doing it myself.

That’s how I see coaching.

I know, insert the eye rolls – but hear me out… This actually goes beyond coaching, but that’s a relevant point for me right now.

You see, I spent well over a decade trying to figure a lot of shit out. Personal growth, relationships, self-acceptance, moving past fear – figuring out not only who I was, but who I wanted to be.

I did it the hard way. No help – except for maybe some short writings here, a few videos there, and a lot of picking the brains of others. Oh… and a TON of head banging and toe stubbing along the way. (I won’t even begin to get into the hurt or harm I may have caused others during this time!)

If I had reached out to someone else who had gone through that process themselves, took the time to work with them to help me do the same – I most likely could have come out the other side in a fraction of the time… and without nearly as much wear and tear on myself in the process.

Getting back to working on the car…

Not everyone can afford to go to the dealership to get the work done. Sometimes we have to figure it out on our own – and honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re willing to invest the time, the resources are usually available somewhere. It’s finding them, compiling them in a way that makes sense, and hoping you’re not missing a step along the way.

But when you can get a professional to help – it can often be your best move. Not only do you spare your knees, back, knuckles and sanity – you end up with the solutions faster and a result that is likely much more reliable than if you just figured it out.

Well, that is why I coach. That’s why I am so freaking sold out to the process of helping others live beyond their fear… breaking their limitations, and saving years of the hard damn work to get there! Because if I’m being really honest with you here – I wish I fucking had done it myself. Time is something we never get back, and if I could have been where I am today even 5 years earlier…

Look.. you can do it on your own. I am living proof of that. And even if we never work together, I will be drop breadcrumbs to help you find some of the bits and pieces you need to get there. Consider that my way of helping those who want (or need) to go it alone.

But if you want to shortcut that process and gain years of your own life at the same time… maybe we should at least talk.