Planning for What You Won’t Admit

For years, I longed for love. I had seen it, read about it, watched movies about it… but I had not yet had the opportunity to experience it.

But, I knew one day it would come… and I was going to make sure it was right when it happened.
So… I planned.

I started a list of what I would want in the perfect partner. What they enjoyed, how they would act, what they would believe… even down to how they would look. I spent a long time on this list – after all, if it was going to be the perfect love that I had seen over and over again everywhere else, it would definitely require the perfect partner.

But when it came time to start finding that perfect woman… the woman of my dreams… I froze. I began to wonder if I had made the list too perfect. Did she even exist?

So, back to the list I went, refining it… changing details to open the net. Looking for areas I could be flexible with, so that when someone even close to that list showed up, I’d be open to it.

Still… I froze.

What was wrong with me?
Why was I freezing… stuck in my own tracks?

I knew what I wanted… I had a detailed list that would absolutely net me the right gal. So… why wasn’t I trying to meet her?

I’d love to tell you that one day it just kinda hit me. That I realized the issue, quickly found the love of my life, and we rode off into that Hollywood sunset.

However, if I’m going to be honest – it wasn’t until decades later into my life that I fully understood what happened.

Along the way, I did meet a few people. Married one — divorced later. Met another, moved in together — ended later. Married a second time — even had kids — divorced a decade later.

What was I missing? I had my damn list!

What I was missing was what the list was doing. By being so focused on the planning… the list… I never had to stop and look at myself.

You see, there were plenty of things I needed to learn. Things I needed to face – fears, doubts, old programming… being “too much.” But my list kept me from really ever getting there.

I was busy planning so that I could avoid the real thing that needed the most attention — me.

I think this is something a lot of us do. Instead of facing the issues, challenges, or even fears we hold on to, we try to plan around them. We distract ourselves with all these lists, refine them, and keep going over them… all the while missing what we should have faced to start with.

My friends, I am sharing this with you today to challenge you.

If there’s something you’ve been planning for some time, but not yet actually done something about… maybe you are actually avoiding. Sure, it looks good from the outside… but in all the planning, you get to postpone the one thing you really need to do.

It may not be relationships for you. Perhaps it’s related to work, maybe something social… who knows. But whatever it is that you’ve been edging yourself around… stop and ask yourself a few questions:

• Am I avoiding something bigger?
• Is there a fear I’m not facing?
• What’s happening within me that has me running in endless circles?

This may well be a major starting point for you. It could be the beginning of a huge breakthrough that’s been begging for your attention.

Don’t avoid it any longer… face it. Work through it.

When I finally did that for myself, it opened doors I never imagined. I now truly know what love is, what it looks like, and how it feels. Everything before was only what I could imagine it to be… but now, I live in it.

Don’t let your planning stop you from the real issue at hand.
It may be what’s stopping you from truly getting what you want.

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